Video Purpose: Explains five things we can take note of when speaking to a friend who has experience sexual misconduct or has been a victim of sexual harassment (like the case in NUS incident) *
Following the news and incident revealed from NUS about a recent voyeurism case and how the victim (a female undergraduate) felt that there wasn't adequate victim support and attention to the case, I realised that most of us in our personal and professional life are not equipped to handle conversations of such nature when someone goes through what he or she did like in the NUS incident.
So what do we do when a friend approaches us to share their experience of being a victim of sexual misconduct or sexual harassment?
Five areas to look at:
1. Do not say "it's all in your head" or compare it to other situations "it's not as bad as ...". This is not the time to distract them and try and downplay their situation, even if we may or may not be uncomfortable. This is about being present and conscious and being with our friend to listen - so that they know they have someone who will not judge them.
2. They may or may not want to talk about it now - and in both cases, it is ok. We do not need to force them to talk about the details if they are not ready. For some people who are still in major emotional pain, having them talk about it may lock them in a trauma or stress cycle and retrigger their fear responses.
3. Watch out for self-blame or shame responses. Watch out for cases where they get stuck into blaming themselves or just starting to hate themselves as they try to process the situation.
4. Encourage compassion to self, self-love and self-care. This is never enough, always treat everything with compassion and love, compassion and love. Put on repeat.
5. When they re ready to process it further or they get increasing locked in repeated trauma cycles, get a professional to work with them - one who is also trained in sexuality-topics or trauma-releasing topics or both. Not all professionals are trained with sexuality and body image issues, which in itself are deep and profound hot button topics.
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Music tracks in video from YouTube audio library: Torrance_Sunset, Serenity.
Related video from my playlist:
1. (The Six People To Avoid When Being Vulnerable | in love and relationship (inspired by Brene Brown)
Other related videos on other channels:
2. (ChannelNewsAsia: Students call for NUS to be held accountable for sexual misconduct in wake of Monica Baey case)
3. (From Mr Brown: Kim Huat and the Peeping Tom). It's satirical but also very relevant and to the point.
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